Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGETI become a chameleon for wherever I am.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
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I love my mom! You can too for $12!
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I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
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Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.
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Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
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My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
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There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
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Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
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Valuable people are undervalued.
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Everyone I love I pay.
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I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
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I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
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Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
BOB SAGET