My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGETMost people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
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The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
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My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
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Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
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Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
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The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
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At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
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I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
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You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
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My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
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Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
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That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.
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I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
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Valuable people are undervalued.
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Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
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No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
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When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
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