In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
BOB SAGETSundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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All I’ve ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.
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Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
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I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
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I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
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I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
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It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
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That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.
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Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
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Everyone I love I pay.
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Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
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If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
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It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
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You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET