Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.
BOB SAGETIt’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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Everyone I love I pay.
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It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
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I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
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People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
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What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating.
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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
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I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
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There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
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Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.
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The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
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A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
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Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
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It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
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It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
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Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
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Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET