Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPEIt’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
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It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
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Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
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I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE