Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPEI don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE -
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
BOB HOPE -
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE -
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
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The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
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The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
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I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE -
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
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I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE