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I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.

Bob Hope

The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPE

Before Draw Engage Money Only Trouble
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE

Friend Funny Hate Inspiration
I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE

Days Line One These Watches
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
BOB HOPE

Doing Nothing Kissing Light
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
BOB HOPE

Day Next People See Sold Television
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE

Cold Hands Pockets Politician
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way

I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.

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I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.

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Popular Authors

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