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I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.

Bob Hope

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE

Four Girl Lives Sheltered
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE

Balls Forever Gifts Good Greatest Laughter Thank
It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE

Average Funny Humorous
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
BOB HOPE

Arrive Giving Ideas Still Two
I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE

Days Line One These Watches
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE

Golf Paramedic Play Trying
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting

I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.

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I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.

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