Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPEThe old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE -
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE -
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
BOB HOPE -
There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
BOB HOPE -
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE -
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE -
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE -
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE -
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE -
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE -
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE -
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE -
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE -
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE -
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE