It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPEThe old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE -
Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
BOB HOPE -
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE -
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE -
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE -
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE -
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE -
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE -
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE -
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE -
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE -
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE -
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE -
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE