I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPEThe old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE -
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE -
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE -
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE -
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE -
The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
BOB HOPE -
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE -
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE -
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE -
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE -
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE -
Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
BOB HOPE -
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE -
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE -
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE