I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPEThe old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE -
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
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I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
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Lots of travel, away from home.
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
BOB HOPE -
I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE -
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE -
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE -
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE -
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE -
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE






