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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

Bob Hope

Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE

England Hair Line One
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE

Anything Resist Temptation
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Golf Member Successful
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Hope Look People Ruin
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE

Funny Inspirational Place Proactive Time
The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
BOB HOPE

Bombers Bombs Hell
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE

Cold Hands Pockets Politician
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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