I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPEI always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
BOB HOPE -
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE -
Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status.
BOB HOPE -
By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
BOB HOPE -
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE -
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE -
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE -
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE -
I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
BOB HOPE -
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE -
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE -
It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE -
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
BOB HOPE -
We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
BOB HOPE -
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE