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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

Bob Hope

In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE

Balls Go Golf Yards
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE

Music Names Personality Play
Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Hope Look People Ruin
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE

Beach Golf Grass Pebbles
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Definitely Essence Life
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

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