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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.

Bob Hope

America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE

Apart Dog Miles Pet Tree
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE

Boxing Canvas Funny Sports
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE

Country Littles People Promise Way
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Division Fame Golf
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
BOB HOPE

Country Kind Line Money One People
Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
BOB HOPE

Frozen Guy People
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE

Funny Inspirational Place Proactive Time
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous Old
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Play Tried Weight
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Inspirational Sports
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE

Cold Hands Pockets Politician

I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.

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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.

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