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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.

Bob Hope

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE

Friend Funny Hate Inspiration
One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE

Each Lines Nothing Other Stock Way
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Play Tried Weight
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
BOB HOPE

Age Calculate Fingers Rings
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Pointed Rip
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
BOB HOPE

Country Kind Line Money One People
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People

I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.

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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.

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Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes