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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.

Bob Hope

I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE

Funny Inspirational Place Proactive Time
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Successful
YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE

Concentrate Grandchildren One Thing Tim
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE

Anything Resist Temptation
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE

Ambition Dancing People
Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Italian
The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPE

Before Draw Engage Money Only Trouble
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries

I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.

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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.

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Popular Authors

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