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If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.

Bob Hope

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE

Christmas Holiday Old Fashioned Xmas
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE

Golf Paramedic Play Trying
There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Paris
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Successful
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Pointed Rip
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE

Funny Golf Same Time Together
By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
BOB HOPE

Eighteen Engaged Finished Foursome
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE

Book Funny Reading
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation

If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.

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If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.

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