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I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.

Bob Hope

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Definitely Essence Life
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE

Best Friend Talking Tire
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Inspirational Sports
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater

I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.

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I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.

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Popular Authors

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