If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
BOB HOPEI don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
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It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPE -
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE -
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE -
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
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I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE -
Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
BOB HOPE -
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE -
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE