I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
BOB HOPEI was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
BOB HOPEI don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPETelevision is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPEMy next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPEGolf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPEThe firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPEPersonally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPEOne of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPELots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPEI was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
BOB HOPEAudiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPECypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPEEverybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPEI’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPEI asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPEIt’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE