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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?

Bob Hope

It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Pointed Rip
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE

Get Golf Names Vain
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
BOB HOPE

Happiness Inspirational Laughter
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Kids Wonderful
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years

I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?

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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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