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I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.

Bob Hope

England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
BOB HOPE

Doing Nothing Kissing Light
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE

Country Littles People Promise Way
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting
It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE

Average Funny Humorous
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE

Gun Makeup Men Spray
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE

Appreciate Want War Winding
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War

I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.

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I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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