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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Bob Hope

Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE

Funny Golf Same Time Together
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE

Braves Family Kid Players
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Inspirational Sports
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE

Cold Hands Pockets Politician
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Golf Lying
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Littles
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE

Balls Forever Gifts Good Greatest Laughter Thank
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE

Singing Sweet Trying
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
BOB HOPE

Blow Home Hurricane Tornadoes Typhoon Worry
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

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