I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPEI love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE -
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE -
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE -
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE -
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
BOB HOPE -
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE -
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE -
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE -
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE -
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE -
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE -
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE -
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE -
I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE -
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE