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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

Bob Hope

Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous Old
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE

Funny Item People Telling Years
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE

Jesus News Pissed
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE

Food Funny Humorous
One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE

Each Lines Nothing Other Stock Way
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE

Heart Humor Laughter
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

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