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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

Bob Hope

Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE

Four Girl Lives Sheltered
Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Italian
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE

Funny Inspirational Place Proactive Time
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
BOB HOPE

Country Kind Line Money One People
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE

England Hair Line One
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE

Singing Sweet Trying

It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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