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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

Bob Hope

US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE

Food Funny Humorous
To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
BOB HOPE

Arrive Giving Ideas Still Two
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Littles
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE

Concentrate Grandchildren One Thing Tim
Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
BOB HOPE

Congratulations Dark House
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
BOB HOPE

Country Kind Line Money One People

It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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