The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPEIt was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
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And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
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On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
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My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
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If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE