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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.

Bob Hope

If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Play Tried Weight
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE

Braves Family Kid Players
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE

Balls Go Golf Yards
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE

Anything Resist Temptation
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Kids Wonderful
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE

Food Funny Humorous
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE

Funny Inspirational Place Proactive Time
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE

Four Girl Lives Sheltered

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.

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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.

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