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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.

Bob Hope

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Night Reason Same
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE

Caring Funny Laughter Transform Unbearable
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Definitely Essence Life
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks
The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPE

Before Draw Engage Money Only Trouble

If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.

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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.

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Popular Authors

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