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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.

Bob Hope

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Successful
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Golf Member Successful
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
BOB HOPE

Eighteen Engaged Finished Foursome
The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
BOB HOPE

Bombers Bombs Hell
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE

Appreciate Want War Winding
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor

If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.

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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.

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