I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPEIt’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
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I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
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The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
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When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
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I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
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I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE







