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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

Bob Hope

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE

Acting Funny President
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE

England Hair Line One
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE

Balls Forever Gifts Good Greatest Laughter Thank
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE

Christmas Holiday Old Fashioned Xmas
We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
BOB HOPE

Courses Decide Golf Play Spring
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
BOB HOPE

Country Kind Line Money One People

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

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Popular Authors

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