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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

Bob Hope

We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE

Music Names Personality Play
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Successful
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
BOB HOPE

Frozen Guy People
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

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Popular Authors

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