It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
BOB HOPEThe good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
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Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
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I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
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Lots of travel, away from home.
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You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
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I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
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Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
BOB HOPE