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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.

Bob Hope

Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE

Singing Sweet Trying
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE

Ambition Dancing People
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries
Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Play Small Winning
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE

Extra Pages Personally Turning
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Division Fame Golf
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
BOB HOPE

Doctors Funny Heart Operating Table
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE

Acting Funny President
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE

Funny Inspirational Place Proactive Time
I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Kids Wonderful

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.

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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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