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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.

Bob Hope

If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE

Ambition Dancing People
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE

Beach Golf Grass Pebbles
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE

Apart Dog Miles Pet Tree
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE

Acting Funny President
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Pointed Rip
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE

Braves Family Kid Players
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE

Anyone Bad Beautiful Golf Shot Silly
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE

Caring Funny Laughter Transform Unbearable

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.

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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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