I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
BILL MAHERCan we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
BILL MAHER -
The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
BILL MAHER -
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
BILL MAHER -
If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
BILL MAHER -
Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
BILL MAHER -
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
BILL MAHER -
Men are only as loyal as their options.
BILL MAHER -
It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
BILL MAHER -
Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
BILL MAHER -
Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
BILL MAHER -
Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
BILL MAHER -
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
BILL MAHER -
Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
BILL MAHER -
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
BILL MAHER -
If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
BILL MAHER