In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
BILL MAHEROnly a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
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You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
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Only a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
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Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
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What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
BILL MAHER






