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Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?

Bill Maher

There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
BILL MAHER

Debate Right Science Subject Vote
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
BILL MAHER

Check Funny People Support
Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
BILL MAHER

Big Ego Face Himself Problem Worship
They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER

Ban Bed Myself People Smoking
You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
BILL MAHER

Difference People Prayer Religious Warm Yourself
To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
BILL MAHER

Appearance Courage Coward Stupidity
Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
BILL MAHER

Children Law Message People Right Straight
I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
BILL MAHER

Myself Religious
I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
BILL MAHER

Death Move Myself Suicide Traffic
Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
BILL MAHER

Death Myself Possession Power Promise
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
BILL MAHER

Complain Noise Opportunity People
Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHER

God Man Quit Suicide Way Yourself
The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
BILL MAHER

Goal Power Slogan
It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
BILL MAHER

Explanation Hard Idiot Yourself
If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
BILL MAHER

Identity Name Nature Origin
Death is nature’s way of killing you.
BILL MAHER

Death Kill Nature Way Yourself
If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
BILL MAHER

Believe Day Earth End Motivational Oneself World
The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
BILL MAHER

Difference Religion Talk Voice
I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
BILL MAHER

Communalism Compare Human Hypocrisy Marriage Nature
Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
BILL MAHER

Dance Popular Stardom
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
BILL MAHER

Himself Name Obvious
Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
BILL MAHER

Love Place War Yourself
If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
BILL MAHER

Against Gay Sexuality Yourself
Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
BILL MAHER

Better Care People
The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
BILL MAHER

Boy Embrace History Ideas Low Slow Technology
The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
BILL MAHER

Angry Generation Machine Question Young
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
BILL MAHER

Conform Country Need People Talk

Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?

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Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?

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