They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER
You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
More Bill Maher Quotes
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They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER -
I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
BILL MAHER -
False hope really makes you cynical.
BILL MAHER -
The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
BILL MAHER -
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Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
BILL MAHER -
God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
BILL MAHER -
Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
BILL MAHER -
Men are only as loyal as their options.
BILL MAHER -
As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
BILL MAHER -
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
BILL MAHER -
We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
BILL MAHER -
The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’
BILL MAHER -
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
BILL MAHER -
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
BILL MAHER