Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
BILL MAHERYou know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER -
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
BILL MAHER -
You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
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I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
BILL MAHER -
Only a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.
BILL MAHER -
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
BILL MAHER -
In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
BILL MAHER -
Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
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It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
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Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
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If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
BILL MAHER -
Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
BILL MAHER