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False hope really makes you cynical.

Bill Maher

A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
BILL MAHER

Fertilizer Perfume Woman Yourself
The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
BILL MAHER

Death Fact Kind Live Man Plain Religion
To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
BILL MAHER

Alive Animal Experiment Father Live Myself People Trade
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
BILL MAHER

Average Goodness Need People Society Yourself
Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
BILL MAHER

Apology Crazy Himself Identity Wrong
There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
BILL MAHER

God Live Money Ourselves Trust
Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
BILL MAHER

Debate Enjoyment Myself People Thinking Time
To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
BILL MAHER

Click Perspective Reading Religious Software
What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
BILL MAHER

Believe Love Myself Politics Stupidity
America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
BILL MAHER

Dog Explanation Issues Myself Sorry Understand
As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
BILL MAHER

Believe Life Path True
I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
BILL MAHER

Death Move Myself Suicide Traffic
I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
BILL MAHER

Myself Religion Respect Thinking
During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHER

Book Coffee Company Depression Fight History People Reading Time Tough
If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
BILL MAHER

Enterprise Religious Rich Sales Start Yourself
In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
BILL MAHER

Government Hospital Party Politics Profit Socialism

False hope really makes you cynical.

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False hope really makes you cynical.

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