If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
BILL MAHERFalse hope really makes you cynical.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
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Denying racism is the new racism.
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
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I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
BILL MAHER