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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Bill Cosby

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Was not In the men’s room, Julie.
BILL COSBY

Fantasy Funny Greatness Oneself Romantic
A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.
BILL COSBY

Advice Necessary Stupidity Wisdom Word
It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
BILL COSBY

Life Man Pride
If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.
BILL COSBY

Recognize See Yourself
And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.
BILL COSBY

Death Himself See Voice Yourself
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
BILL COSBY

Eat Myself Pieces
I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
BILL COSBY

Empty Herself Moments Myself Philosophy
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
BILL COSBY

Children End Friendship Myself Play
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
BILL COSBY

Children Ordinary Parents Talk
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
BILL COSBY

Gift God Heart Marriage Memories Relationship
A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.
BILL COSBY

Deep Rise See Sun
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
BILL COSBY

Avoid Law Promise
The Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they’re not.
BILL COSBY

Problem Technology Thinking
Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it.
BILL COSBY

Decision Fear Yourself
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
BILL COSBY

Father Funny Love Present
When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
BILL COSBY

Deep Dream One Liner Wake Up Yourself

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

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