Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Was not In the men’s room, Julie.
BILL COSBYAlways end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.
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It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
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If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.
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And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
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The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
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No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
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The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
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A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.
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The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
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The Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they’re not.
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Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it.
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
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When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
BILL COSBY