Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
BILL COSBYI often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don’t cry over the one person who doesn’t.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
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I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
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Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.
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It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
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Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
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Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?
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People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.
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A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.
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I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!
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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
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Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
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Human beings are the only creatures on earth who allow their kids to come back home.
BILL COSBY