There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
BILL BAILEYThe reason we’d stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
-
-
I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people’s doors and running away. God that was a good game.
BILL BAILEY -
Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
BILL BAILEY -
I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
BILL BAILEY -
Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
BILL BAILEY -
I think we’ve missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro… to catch whatever it is that’s forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it’s a bit of a long shot.
BILL BAILEY -
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
BILL BAILEY -
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
BILL BAILEY -
It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
BILL BAILEY -
In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
BILL BAILEY -
I’m English, and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
BILL BAILEY -
It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
BILL BAILEY -
Contentment is knowing you’re right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
BILL BAILEY -
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
BILL BAILEY -
I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
BILL BAILEY -
Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
BILL BAILEY