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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.

Andy Rooney

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
ANDY ROONEY

Happiness Life Strike Yourself
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Admit Economist Talk
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
ANDY ROONEY

Agreement Believe Opinion Ourselves Right
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Mystery Pill Yourself
Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
ANDY ROONEY

Certain Finding Frustration Time
I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
ANDY ROONEY

Hurt Learning Person Planning Yourself
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY

Age Fresh Myself Wait
I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEY

Enough Funny Letter Money Myself Rich
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY

Healing Love Myself Time Wound
I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEY

Custom Direction Evidence Institution Monument Myself Myth Social
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY

Alone Happiness Smile Yourself
I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
ANDY ROONEY

Children Gift Learning Myself
I’ve learned, That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
ANDY ROONEY

Born Fingers Hold Life Yourself
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
ANDY ROONEY

Basic Education Life Myself Need
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY

Computer Fast Technology
I’ve learned, That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
ANDY ROONEY

Change Fact Ignorance Learning Myself

Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.

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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.

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Popular Authors

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