The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEYFamiliar things are a comfort to us all.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY -
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
ANDY ROONEY -
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY -
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
ANDY ROONEY -
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY -
Unfortunately, propaganda works.
ANDY ROONEY -
Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
ANDY ROONEY -
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY -
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY