Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEY -
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
ANDY ROONEY -
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
ANDY ROONEY -
Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY -
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
ANDY ROONEY -
We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
ANDY ROONEY -
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEY -
Small daily happenings make life spectacular. Start enjoying the small things in life!
ANDY ROONEY -
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
ANDY ROONEY