Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEYNothing in fine print is ever good news.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
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Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
ANDY ROONEY -
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY -
Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
ANDY ROONEY -
I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
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I’ve learned, That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
ANDY ROONEY -
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEY -
Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY -
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY -
Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
ANDY ROONEY -
If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
ANDY ROONEY -
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
ANDY ROONEY -
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
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I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
ANDY ROONEY -
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEY -
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY