ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
AMBROSE BIERCECoward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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