Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCECoward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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