Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCECoward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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