Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
AMBROSE BIERCEOpposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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