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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

Ambrose Bierce

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Evil Existence Philosophy Replacement
RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Assassination Character Weapon
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Himself Listening Person Talk
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Belief Manifestation Opinion Statement
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Beautiful Death Essential Example Poison
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Confession Law Prayer Universe Worth
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Disguise Education Understand Wisdom
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Food Place Religion Service State
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Drive Slave Substitute
Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Conscience Destitution Forget Gift God
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Believe Country Democracy Oneself Ruin
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Animal Digest Eat Goodness Man Science
Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Age Head Himself See Thinking Wisdom
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Analysis Delusion Himself Philosophy
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Advantage Affair Interest Principle Private
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Concession Demand Resort

Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

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Popular Authors

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