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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

Ambrose Bierce

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Act Repeat Word
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Children Cold Compassionate Feeling Love Mom
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Believe Divine Need Neighbor Religion Spiritual
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Final Funny Rich
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Animal Digest Eat Goodness Man Science
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Marriage People Person Support
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death Money Person Praise Wealth
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Each Other Hands International Separate Thief Union
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Ambition Himself Name Patriot
Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Astrology Custom Easy Fate God Responsibility
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Boundary Divorce Relationship
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Fear Hope Ignorance Known Religion
You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Help Religion Stupidity
Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Beautiful Belief Optimism Ugly
Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Call Distance Poor Rich Willing
To the eye of failure success is an accident.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Accident Eyes Failure Perspective Success

Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

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Popular Authors

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