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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

Ambrose Bierce

Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Average Perseverance Success Virtue
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Final Funny Rich
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Care Civilization Government Intelligence Ourselves Reward
REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Avoid Mindset Ourselves Reflection Relationship
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Disappointment Perspective Time
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Boundary Divorce Relationship
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Division Domain Forever Hope Present
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Delusion Experience Observation Reflection Save
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Each Other Hands International Separate Thief Union
Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Betrayal Character Cheating Virtue
You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Help Religion Stupidity
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Drive Slave Substitute
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Confession Law Prayer Universe Worth
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Ambition Himself Name Patriot
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Appearance Art Color Fools White
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Analysis Delusion Himself Philosophy

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

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