PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCEDivorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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