Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCEDivorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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