Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCEMarriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCEOpposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
AMBROSE BIERCERUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
AMBROSE BIERCESaint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCEYou don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCEPAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
AMBROSE BIERCEPatriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCEAccordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCEDon’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCELabor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
AMBROSE BIERCEAll are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCEFuture. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCEMausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCEYear: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCEDeath is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCERATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
AMBROSE BIERCE