Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCEOcean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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