My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
ALAN KINGMy brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
More Alan King Quotes
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I was a high school throw-out.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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The other day my house caught fire.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING