I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KINGWe set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
More Alan King Quotes
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING






