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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING

Armor Eat Place Suit
I was a high school throw-out.
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High Out School Throw
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING

Apple Every Gave Hospital Juice Morning
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING

Charm Humor Rhythm Soul
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
ALAN KING

Bed Eat Favorite Out Saturday Spend Sport Television Watch Way
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KING

Get Good Know Look Old People Tell
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
ALAN KING

Fight Keep Marriage Nature Stranger Way
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING

Comedy Create Nothing Reflection
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING

Atom Think Expense Great Humor Someone Something
For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KING

Always Birthday Joke Me Such Time
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING

Again Apple Cloudy Drank Faint Juice Little Morning Nurse One Pour Run Specimen Tube
Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
ALAN KING

Back Ball Been Fifty Laugh Listen Love People Theatre Villian Year
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
ALAN KING

Bigotry Father First Oppression Read Talk Think Time
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING

Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING

Country Cutter Dreamer Father Handbag Hero Smart Tough
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KING

Ate Clean Good House Kept Mother

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