I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KINGWe set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
More Alan King Quotes
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I was a high school throw-out.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KING