There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
ALAN KINGYou do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
More Alan King Quotes
-
-
We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KING -
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING -
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KING -
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
The other day my house caught fire.
ALAN KING -
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KING -
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
ALAN KING -
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING -
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING -
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KING -
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING -
When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING -
Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING -
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
ALAN KING