My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KINGYou do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
More Alan King Quotes
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING