My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KINGYou do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
More Alan King Quotes
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING -
As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KING -
An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING -
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING -
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
ALAN KING -
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING -
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING -
I was a high school throw-out.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
ALAN KING -
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
ALAN KING -
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING -
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING