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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.

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Better Father Parent

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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Dictator Full Life Little Run Try World
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Ball Everything Matzoh Mother Sank
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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Comedy Create Nothing Reflection
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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Ability Audience Comedy Identity never Say Son Story Tell
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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Day Decide Dinner Go Morning Through
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Great New Older Thing Year
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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Fight Keep Marriage Nature Stranger Way
As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Egg Except Food Life Only Pleasure Salami Second Sex
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Confidence First Freedom Gave Lot People Program Sullivan Television
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Go Kitchen Mother never Other Pot Room Saw
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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Ate Clean Good House Kept Mother
Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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Business Course Have Hook Learn Survive
My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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