As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KINGAs a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
More Alan King Quotes
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
ALAN KING