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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.

Alan King

My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
ALAN KING

Accident Car Cousin Eighty Kill Male Mother One Raise Sister Six Trolley
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING

Bad Good Joy Over Place Review Scream Unhappy
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
ALAN KING

Ability Absorb Book Else Exactly Make Someone Stage Story Word
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
ALAN KING

Confidence First Freedom Gave Lot People Program Sullivan Television
Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING

Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny
I was a high school throw-out.
ALAN KING

High Out School Throw
The other day my house caught fire.
ALAN KING

Caught Day Fire House Other
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
ALAN KING

Funny Holocaust Joke Make Occur People Way
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING

Book Love Marriage Read Separate Two Want
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
ALAN KING

Alongside Dictionary Milton Party Took Tremendous Vaudeville
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
ALAN KING

Grub Hypochondriac Miser Money Worrywart
For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KING

Always Birthday Joke Me Such Time
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KING

Modesty One Virtue
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING

Apple Every Gave Hospital Juice Morning
One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KING

Country Dinner Life One Restaurant Thing Whole
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING

Better Father Parent

As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.

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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.

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