My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
ALAN KINGNow that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
More Alan King Quotes
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
ALAN KING -
Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING -
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING