My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KINGNow that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
More Alan King Quotes
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING