Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KINGNow that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
More Alan King Quotes
-
-
I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING -
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KING -
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING -
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
ALAN KING -
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KING -
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING -
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING -
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING -
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING -
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING -
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
ALAN KING -
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING -
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING -
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING -
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KING