You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KINGMy favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
More Alan King Quotes
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
ALAN KING