A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KINGMy favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
More Alan King Quotes
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
ALAN KING