Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KINGWhen I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
More Alan King Quotes
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING