I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KINGWhen I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
More Alan King Quotes
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
ALAN KING