“If someone hacks your password, you can change it – as many times as you want.”

Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

My dad was a terrible businessman.

If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.

I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.

Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose.

My mom sold real estate and did it part time.

Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.

It’s hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a secret court. Actually, it’s impossible to have that debate.

I want to reclaim ‘liberal.’ I’m a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals.

There’s going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration’s relationship to Russia.

The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers.

It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.

I’ve had a great time. I like the people in Hollywood a lot.

Let’s keep the Internet weird. Let’s keep the Internet free.

So efficient are the available instruments of slavery; fingerprints, lie detectors, brain washings, gas chambers; that we shiver at the thought of political change which might put these instruments in the hands of men of hate.

You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.

I anticipate that Apple’s fingerprint reader will in fact make iPhone 5S owners more likely to secure their smartphones.

If you use Facebook – as I do – Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd.