“There’s plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it’s a serious business.”

I can assure you, this is not about spying on the American people.

I also focus on Bush and his administration – who do a lot of lying – and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn’t be able to get away with.

Which is why I think any loving, committed couple — gay or straight — should be able to get married.

I’m part of the mushball middle. I consider ‘confused’ the majority position because, thankfully.

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!

When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.

I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights.

But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.

Rush Limbaugh is what I call a disinfotainer. He entertains by spreading disinformation.

I’ve been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you’re under pressure.

I’m sure I’ve devoted enough thought to Rush Limbaugh for one lifetime.

Call-time has renewed my faith in the need for public financing of elections. Call-time is where I as the candidate, sit in a room with my “call-time manager,” and a phone. Then I call people and ask them for money. For hours. Apparently, I’m really good at it.

The right wing has had a radio apparatus for years and years, so they’ve had minor leagues.

And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that’s funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there’s all kinds of advantages to it.

It was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private.

Good schools for me to prepare myself for a career, and, if I worked hard and played by the rules, a chance for me to do anything I wanted.

Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing; education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

What my parents thought of this, I don’t know. But they bore it. And the real problem was not my sin, but my unemployability.

People don’t know how to be outrageous anymore.

There are, in effect, two things, to know and to believe one knows; to know is science; to believe one knows is ignorance.

I don’t know, I’ve always written songs that are mainly about attitude, not me personally.

I’ve kissed just three people in my life, other than stuff that I’ve done for TV or movies. I know – I’m weird!

The chief merit of language is clearness, and we know that nothing detracts so much from this as do unfamiliar terms.

Many admire, few know.